I in no way profess to have all of this great knowledge about marriage (as I've only been married a year and a half) but I am learning as I go, and I think we can all learn and grow at any stage of life and learn from people at any stage of life too. Toby and I really love being married and we have a great time together, even when times are tough. I thought I'd share some of the things we have discovered along the way for any other married friends or potential members of that club, haha.
Marriage Nugget #1:
"Remember to forget"
Too many times when people argue (not just couples) we bring up all the things that made us mad before or that "prove our case" in the current fight. Trust me, if you want to avoid ugly fights and angsty pent up feelings, then you need to LET GO of past offenses, whether they are between you both or not. Toby and I learned pretty quick that that will go nowhere quick. Friends fight, family fights, so inevitably husband and wife will fight. You are two different people raised two different ways and when you come together you are learning how to live. Remember to forget the little grievances along the way and don't hold them against your spouse, because you love him more than you could be mad at him. When I look back at our first year of marriage I don't remember ANY of our fights...because they are not important. When they are done they should be DONE. And if you have to work to forget it, please do, because it's worth all the effort you've got. Marriage is not easy, but nothing good and worth it is. The best things you have to fight for...and man, is marriage worth every minute of it.
"Love is patient and kind, not jealous, not boastful, not proud, rude or selfish, not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not gloat over other people's sins but takes its delight in the truth. Love always bears up, always trusts, always hopes, always endures. Love never ends"~B~
-1 Corinthians 13:4-8a