Friday, June 6, 2014
This moment (reflections)
I am sitting here in a coffee shop that I love and, not that today is any different than any other day, but I am so oddly thankful and aware of this moment. There are a heck of a lot of changes going on and about to go on in my life, so I guess I get this hyper awareness every once in a while that reminds me, "you'll never be in this exact place again."
I realize that that may sound a little depressing, but I assure you, it's not how I mean it. I'll explain.
When I say, "I'll never be in this exact place again" I mean that I will never sit on this leather couch in the upstairs part of this coffee shop, pregnant with my first son, and writing thank you cards for my first baby shower ever. I will never drink this same cup of (decaffeinated) coffee while waiting for my wifi to connect. I will never be answering these exact text messages from an old dear friend at 10:30 am. I am thankful for these little things, these little moments, because they are mine and are so unique to this day. Maybe it's the pregnancy hormones, or maybe I am just really getting a glimpse of the way life flutters in and around and through us. Sometime soon after this moment (soon meaning in a few weeks) I will have a sweet little boy that I get to take care of and he will no longer be resting in my belly. I will have a diaper bag and wet wipes and pacifiers and all of the standard mom paraphernalia. I won't be the girl in the coffee shop with no kid. And that is more than ok...because it is a whole new chapter.
I guess what I'm saying is that I am realizing the fact that the days of just me and my husband are rapidly coming to a close...and that I am actually ready for it. There are parts of me that could just sail into the sunset with my man and never have a care in the world. However, there are other, bigger parts of me that know the goodness that is in store that can only come in the form of my child joining this great adventure. Besides, who said sailing into the sunset couldn't be for us all?
Well, it is. That's the plan. We will sail on into whatever storm or horizon all together. We have no need to look back, unless it's on the good times, and we have no need to fear the future, because it's in God's hands. So then we have this glorious present, filled with the peace that honest hearts bring and the excitement that new life promises. I don't think anyone could ask for a greater adventure.
So onward we go and the wind is with us.